Emotionless
by Nyx-Alia
Summary: If only he hadn't been killed, everything would be okay...not perfect like it was before...but okay' Told from Neo and Trinity's daughters POV after the tragic death of her father.(Final Chapter Up)
1. Counselling

A/N No particular time for this story, it's a total out of the storyline fanfic.  
  
********  
  
A dark haired girl sat quietly in a small kitchen, her hands palms down on the wooden table, and her hair hanging low over her pale face. A woman sat across from her, a cigarette poised between two of her fingers. Many people called this woman 'the oracle'.  
  
Counseling wasn't particularly given in Zion, and so here she was, in front of the Oracle, pouring out her emotion to this woman she barley knew.  
  
This girls name was Jem, and she was practically in shock. Just fourteen years old, and one of her parents was gone.  
  
The oracle looked over at Jem and sighed. "I should imagine the hardest part of this is watching you're mother go through the pain of losing the one she loved most"  
  
Jem nodded shakily, tears forming in her chocolate brown eyes. "She's depressed, I feel like I have no one now, she won't talk to me.or anyone for that matter."  
  
The oracle nodded, putting out her cigarette in an ashtray set in the middle of the table. "So strong, Trinity is, so independent.but when she lost Neo." her voice trailed off and she too looked as if she was going to cry.  
  
The tears that threatened poured over Jem's cheeks, and she curled her arms around herself in an attempt for comfort. "I hate this.I hate it.I wish the Matrix had never been created, I wish my dad was still alive.I wish my mom was happy again."  
  
There was nothing to be done though, the past could not be fixed, and Jem knew this perfectly well.if only wishes came true.  
  
Slowly, she stood up, wiping the tears away from her pale cheeks with her sleeves. "I guess I'll go now.thanks for listening to me"  
  
The oracle nodded again, and Jem walked out of her kitchen, alone to face the world that should have been happy for her, and would have been.if only he hadn't died.  
  
Fin  
  
A/N I don't expect many, if any reviews on this fanfic.it was just a short little thing that was haunting my mind, so I decided to put it in words.  
  
-Nyx-Alia- 


	2. One sided arguments

A/N WARNIING: Okay, so I decided to continue the fanfic.I warn you though, itz depressing as can be.Itz told through the eyes of Neo and Trinity's daughter, Jem. Please, please don't flame me! Constructive comments would be nicer, :S. If you don't like it, or it goes against you're morals or something like that, please tell me nicely!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own em, wish I did.I only own Jem, she's a figment of my twisted imagination.  
  
Merry Christmas everyone, and a happy new year :) -Nyx-Alia-  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Jem slowly slunk back from her meeting with the oracle, dark eyes averted to the ground and long black hair falling in front of her face. It was a bright and sunny day in the Matrix, the artificially blue/green sky cloudless, and tiny children playing in backyards all around. Mothers and fathers laughed as their children ran around playing tag, and the sight sent horrible jolts into Jem's heart.  
  
Fighting back the tears in her eyes, she slowly wandered along the dusty streets until she reached a phone booth. It transported her back to the real world, the cold, metal, disgusting, real world. Jem knew perfectly well that her father had actually died in the Matrix, but the people in the real world had told him to go there.  
  
The ships crew had not changed much since he had died, familiar faces watched her as she climbed out of the chair, and soundlessly walked away, back to her tiny metal room. It was more like a Jail cell than a room, Jem thought, looking around at the bleak iron walls, I could probably live in a jail cell.she sighed and sat down on her cot.  
  
Maybe it was time to try and speak to her mother again, last time she'd just been totally ignored, trinity burying her face into the pillows and refusing to react to her daughter's presence. It wasn't fair, in the times before her father had died, Trinity and Jem would talk for hours on end, about just everything. But Neo's death had taken all the sanity away from her, it seemed like some sort of illness. Jem had always thought that her mother would be able to survive, but now, she guessed that Neo had been part of Trinity, they had been a whole thing.and now it was only half. Jem knew she shouldn't be thinking about her parents this way, as if they were a thing.but she couldn't help it, she felt as if she didn't have parents anymore.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened the door to her cabin, it was freezing in the ship, and Jem shivered against the cold still air. Trinity's cabin was right next to her own, and It was completely identical, inside and out. She stood outside the door for a moment, before shakily pushing it open. Trinity lay curled up on her bed, blue eyes open, but not focusing on anything. Her raven hair fell over her pale cheeks, and she looked like she hadn't eaten, or even moved in days.  
  
Jem pushed her way into the room, closing the heavy steel door behind her. If possible, it was even more freezing cold in Trinity's room.as if her depression was swirling around the place, freezing up the steel walls in hope that It would seal her in, and freeze her to death.  
  
No movement from the bed, it was as if Jem wasn't even there. "Mum?" she whispered solemnly, kneeling down beside the tiny cot. Jem often wondered how both her mother and her father were able to fit onto that tiny bed.somehow it just looked wrong, out of place, to see her mother lying curled up by herself.  
  
Slowly, Jem raised her hand and placed it atop Trinity's head, stroking her black hair gently, "Mum.its okay." but there was nothing else to say, it wasn't like Neo's death was something that could be 'forgiven' it wasn't an act of misbehavior. It was life, swept out of the grasp of living, mind and soul wiped from his body, ripping out a part of many peoples lives.especially Trinity's. It hurt Jem as well, his death.she had loved him so much, he was her father after all, but somehow, at the moment, she just felt so numb, so.emotionless.  
  
Trinity didn't react to her daughters words, she just stayed perfectly still, unblinking, as if she was asleep with her eyes open. Jem could feel tears prickling behind her chocolate brown eyes, and a wave of desperation washed over her. "Mum!" She said louder, almost yelling, "Please talk to me, please." Tears trickled down her cheeks, leaving stains on her pale skin, "I need you to talk to me." Jem's sudden outburst made Trinity blink and look at her daughter, who was crying her eyes out helplessly. She looked up and met her mum's eyes, causing Trinity to cringe, and squeeze her eyes shut tightly. "Mum!!" Sobbed Jem "Please." But Trinity had heard enough, as if in slow motion, she reached across the bed and slapped her daughter sharply across her right cheek. Jem gasped, keeling over in surprise, her mother had never, ever laid a hand on her before, it came as a total shock. She scrambled up off the floor and headed towards the door, tears streaming unconsciously down her cheeks.  
  
Next thing she knew she was in her cabin, lying on her bed, face buried in her pillow. Oh god she hated this, what was so wrong with her, why was her mother so scared of her, why did she cringe when she looked into her eyes?  
  
Unsteadily, Jem climbed off her bed and stumbled to the bathroom, where she looked into a mirror above the sink. Tearstains blotched her cheeks red and purple, her skin was very pale, she had Trinity's complexion. Her black hair was stuck to her face.she had her mothers hair as well. Then she looked into her own eyes in the mirror, chocolate brown.Neo's eyes. 


	3. Plans to kill

Emotionless tears  
  
Emotionless sorrow  
  
I survived today.  
  
But what about tomorrow?  
  
Jem lay on her cot, head against the hard pillows, listening to the sweet, cold silence, strange rhymes twisting and turning inside her head.  
  
My father is dead  
  
My mother won't speak  
  
This burst of unhappiness  
  
Is making me weak  
  
Her cheek still stung from the strike of Trinity's hand, even though it had been over three days since it had happened.  
  
I hate this sorrow  
  
It's so inhumane  
  
And I swear to you  
  
It will drive me insane  
  
Maybe it was just the lack of food and water, maybe laying down for three days without moving was causing her to hallucinate.  
  
I'm all out of emotion  
  
I can't even cry  
  
if this doesn't end soon  
  
Someone's gonna have to die  
  
Jem cringed at the last sentence, opening her dark eyes quickly. Someone's gonna have to die indeed.she sighed. Reality bound Jem, growing up in such a place, where she'd have to stay alert all the time just so she wouldn't be killed. She knew she would never get her father back, because he was dead. If only her mother would come out of her reverie and speak to her, it would all be okay again. Not the same, or happy like it was before Neo died.but okay.  
  
Although she was hoping upon hope that trinity would stop isolating herself and start speaking again, a dreadful, nasty voice sneered at her from the very depths of her reality bound mind. "But what if she doesn't start speaking to you?" It spat nastily, sending shivers down her spine. "What if she doesn't shake herself out of her reverie.what, are you gonna have to kill her?, huh? Huh?"  
  
Jem let a little sob escape her chapped lips, she desperately wanted her mother back, it hurt her so much to see Trinity in so much pain, and one way or another.it was going to have to be stopped. Suddenly Jem's thoughts were interrupted by the door to her cabin being pushed open, she gasped slightly in surprise and looked up sharply.  
  
Link stood in the doorway, frowning at her. He'd stayed on the ship, even after Neo had been brought to his death, always loyal to tank and dozer. "Jem.I think you should come and have something to eat" he announced readily, standing in the doorway. She just sighed and nodded, knowing it was no use arguing, and also repulsed by the idea of starving to death. She unsteadily climbed off the bed and to her feet, using one of the steel walls for support, and then followed Link to the mess hall.  
  
The rest of the crew sat in silence, heads bent over their bowls. Morpheus stood against the wall, gazing blankly into space, not eating.  
  
Jem reached for a bowl and turned the handle on the food dispenser, watching as the familiar white goop flowed into it.  
  
She ate in silence along with everyone else, looking up every few mouthfuls to observe the figures at the table. They all seemed so depressed, and she knew exactly why. Maybe she could put them all out of their misery, along with the person who was causing it.  
  
No.that's damn crazy, she hissed at herself, feeling the tears well up again. She didn't realize she had spoken aloud until she noticed everyone staring at her. Slowly, Jem shook her head and stood up, leaving the mess hall without even washing her bowl out.  
  
******  
  
The corridors were cold again, they gave her an eerie sense of de JA vu. Jem crept along the halls until she reached the place where her cabin was, but didn't go inside. Instead, she wandered a few feet to the right and stood outside her mothers cabin. She opened the door slowly, a shiver passing through her upon seeing the lone figure lying on the bed. Jem crept up to her mother, placing a hand on top of her head just like last time, slowly, she stroked her raven hair off her pale cheeks and sighed. It seemed eerily calm in the room now. Jem could tell that Trinity wasn't asleep, but she wasn't talking either. What she had to do seemed just natural to her now. She refused to see her mother in this much pain, and since she wouldn't come out of her reverie.there was only one more option left.  
  
Jem leaned down and kissed her mothers hair gently, "Its okay mom, you're pain won't last much longer.I'm sorry is has to be like this.but it's the only way." And With that, she straitened up and turned away, pulling the heavy steel door open and stepping out of the room. 


	4. Not fine, But okay

Tears tricked down Jem's cheeks as she rotated the sharp steel knife in her hands, there had to be another way, it couldn't end like this. But in her heart she knew it had to, there was no other real way to put her mother out of her misery, the pain of losing Neo.  
  
Her weapon of choice had been only too easy to get her hands on, she had no idea why they kept knives in the medical room, but they sure were easy to access. Taking another deep breath to clear her cloudy mind, Jem slowly slid the sharp blade under her mattress, ready for whenever she needed to use it.  
  
A sheer feeling of uncontrollable hopelessness washed over her as she lay back down on the metal cot. It wasn't fair, it just so wasn't fair.this war, her fathers death, the painful mercy killing she was about to commit.It just wasn't fair, any of it.  
  
The still silence in the room overwhelmed her, and she buried her face deep into the pillow to block it out. Although it was freezing cold, Jem couldn't feel any of it.she was just floating in a black oblivion of emotionless battle, and it was slowly killing her.  
  
What Jem presumed to be the middle of the night came around, and with a small stifled sob, she pulled herself up and out of her cot. The knife was exactly where she had left it, and she pulled it out, accidentally slicing her finger slightly on the blade.  
  
Her muscles were all frozen up, she could barley move them through the haze of adrenaline and fear rushing through her veins. Slowly but surely, Jem moved her way through the room, and pulled open the heavy steel door.  
  
The corridor was empty, completely void of life. Her mother's door lay a few feet to the right, but it seemed like a few miles to Jem, who was shaking badly in fear. Slowly, she made her way forward, and before she knew it, her hand was on the door handle, ready and waiting for the task ahead.  
  
Slowly she twisted the handle and pushed the door open, to reveal Trinity, sitting up, supporting herself against the sides of the metal cot. Quickly hiding the knife behind her back, Jem cautiously made her way forward, dark eyes wide in surprise. "Mum?" she whispered, halting her pace a few feet away from trinity. Jem didn't actually expect her mother to speak to her, but she wanted desperately to take this as a sign, that she was indeed getting better, that there would have to be no killing.  
  
A sigh escaped Trinity's lips, and she looked up directly into Jem's chocolate brown eyes, without so much as flinching. A shock spilled through Jem's system, and she took another step forward, and then another, until she was able to sit down next to her mother on the bed.  
  
"Jem" Whispered Trinity, causing her to jump. It was the first time her mother had spoken to her in over three weeks after all.  
  
Slowly, Trinity reached out and pulled Jem into a tight hug, tears trickling down her pale cheeks. "I'm sorry Jem" she whispered, "I'm so sorry.I love you, you know that, you're my daughter, and I've b-been so selfish." Jem shook her head and hugged Trinity back, whole body trembling, unable to say anything to stop her mother's tears.  
  
They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, until Trinity opened her eyes and spotted the glinting blade of the knife sitting next to her daughter on the bed. She pulled away from Jem, and reached around her, grasping the handle of the thick steel blade.  
  
Jem's eyes widened "Mum.I'm so sorry.I thought it was the only way I was going to be able to put you out of you're misery.I-I was so stupid.I didn't know w-what I was doing." Trinity silently put the knife down onto the ground, "Jem" she interjected, "Jem.I don't think even death could put me out of the misery of losing you're father, he was my life.the very thing that kept me sane, he was a part of me, I loved him so much." She stifled a sob and lifted Jem's chin, looking deep within her eyes "When me and him had you, everything was perfect, and Jem.without you, I would probably be dead anyway.from heartbreak.you were the only thing that kept my heart from breaking Jem.I love you."  
  
Jem burst into tears at that moment, sobbing hysterically into her mothers shoulder, she wasn't even sure why she was crying.but she was. She had never ever heard Trinity speak to anyone like that, not in such depth.it was almost scary.  
  
Many tears were shed in the short space of time they hugged each other, and finally, Jem pulled away and looked at Trinity."Mum.she whispered.I know.that as long as we have each other.everything will be okay.not perfect like it was before.but okay.":  
  
-Fin  
  
A/N Not what you expected? Or was it? Well.Happy X-mas, and Happy New Year.now I need more inspiration, lolz  
  
Thankyou to all the people who reviewed the other chapterz (don't know who they are yet!) And thankyou to Naz (Angel-Of-Lightness) For encouraging me to finish this fic, and being a great mate!  
  
-Nyx-Alia- 


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